Why I don't read fantasy anymore

One of the things many agents ask you to do is compare yourself to published authors who are current and commercially successful. They want to have an idea of the kind of book you are reading and the audience you are trying to reach. It sounds a reasonable thing to ask, but I have several problems with it.

Firstly, I don't have a job and am reliant on my generous and patient husband to support me in my work. We don't have the money for me to go out and spend it researching the latest published novels just so I can get a taste of the current market. I actually have no idea what is "trending" in the fantasy genre at the moment, and to be honest, I don't really care. Even if I do find myself writing something that fits the mould - BLM and transgender being the big issues right now - by the time my novel is fit for publication, publishers will have moved on to the next big thing. I will be outdated and not the hot commodity they are looking for.

Instead of comparing myself to other authors, I'd rather look at my own progress. Am I learning more about being a writer? Am I finding my "voice"? Is my work improving all the time? I will always fall short when I look around at what other people are doing. There will always be someone who is better than me, more successful than I am, and more switched on to the ways of the world. What is more important is how I am doing, and how I am growing in my craft.

Another reason I have stopped reading new fantasy is because I found myself unconsciously plagiarising other author's ideas. I would suddenly remember that the wonderful scene I had just written was actually very close to something that I had recently read. I started to wonder whether there was anything original about me at all.

Since turning my back on my favourite genre, I feel I have become much more inventive as I write. I am looking within for my ideas instead of taking someone else's. In fact, one comment my mentor had about my last manuscript was that she had never read anything quite like it before. Surely, that is what we should be aiming for as authors, rather than recycling something that the industry has deemed as marketable?

Finally, for the sake of my mental health, I decided not to read any more fantasy. Sadly, the more I read of other people's work, the more despondent I became about my own paltry efforts. Instead of inspiring me to create, I found myself sinking further and further into the mire of inadequacy. I stopped writing. There was no point. I would never be good enough.

Since I changed genres (I now read historical romances, murder mysteries, and classical novels) I have been able to pick up my pen, spend hours in front of my computer, and suffer the consequences of my inconvenient muse. My head is buzzing with new ideas and plot twists, and I have rediscovered the joy of writing that I kept losing.

I don't care that the things I write about don't fit into the publishing industry's mould. I don't care that I have no idea who the new exciting authors are. But I do care about my characters, and how their story is concluded.

And if I want to sink myself into another world, I can always open the pages of my favourite all time reads and follow Louise Cooper's Tarod, or Terry Brooks' Allanon, and enjoy the stories that I know and love so well.