Why I Love Getting Older

When I turned thirty, I went on a crying jag. As far as I was concerned, the best of my years were behind me and there was nothing to look forward to.

When I hit forty, I decided to have a party to celebrate. A decade later, I had experienced a paradigm shift in my thinking. Getting older didn’t fill me with dread as it had before. In fact, I was eager to embrace my future.

Now I am in my sixties and enjoying life in a way I never could have envisioned half a lifetime back. That doesn’t mean to say that I have no struggles, because I have. My body doesn’t share my mind’s enthusiasm! Joints and muscles hurt. I don’t heal as well as I used to. I keep finding unexplained scratches and bruises all over. I am going deaf and need a hearing aid. When it’s cold, I can’t chop with a knife or open bottles and jars because of arthritis in my hands and wrists.

So, why do I still like growing older?

First, I am doing things I love. I once heard a quote that said something like, ‘to be happy in your work, do what you enjoy and get someone to pay you’. After decades of dreams which seemed to get further and further away, I am finally able to write my stories. Unfortunately, I can’t spend half my life on a world cruise on the proceeds. To be honest, if we had to live on my royalties, we would quickly starve. But I am loving the whole process. I have made some amazing friends along the way, been the recipient of encouragement and heart-warming praise, and been able to help others realise their dreams too.

Secondly, I have a beautiful granddaughter who I love more and more every time I see her. Being a parent was hard, especially after my divorce. I didn’t have much time to devote to my son when I was trying to juggle three jobs, provide meals, and keep the house up together. I was exhausted, depressed, and vulnerable.

As a Nana, I can give my granddaughter 100% of my time and energy. It doesn’t feel wasteful to sit on the floor and play all day. I couldn’t care less about the housework, although she loves to help me hang out the washing and would happily join me in cleaning up. She is quick to wipe up spills, even though she is the one doing the spilling on purpose! Her delight in learning new things is infectious. I can look at the world through her innocent eyes and take pleasure in the flight of a butterfly or the colour of a flower. She has brought me so much joy, something I could never have imagined before she came into the world. It also means I see my son much more often, which is an added bonus.

Another reason is part of the shift I spoke of earlier. Each decade has me caring less and less about other people’s opinions and views. I used to be someone who tried desperately to please others. If someone expressed displeasure or criticised me in any way, I would be devastated.  I worked hard to be and do everything perfectly, trying to live up to other’s ideals of what a daughter, wife, and mother should be. It was impossible to achieve, and I suffered as a result.

So, I won’t apologise if my house is a tip, or you don’t like the way I dress, or my weight offends. I’m not changing my stories because you don’t like them. I’ll drink my wine when I please, eat what I like, read rather than hoover, worship God and allow the Bible to shape my life. And I will encourage, support, lift up, and praise people rather than criticise, or judge. At the end of my life, I want people to say the world is a better place because I was in it.

The fourth reason is also tied to my paradigm shift. I like myself.

Having spent much of my life hating my body, thinking myself ugly and fat, yearning to be clever or witty or anything other than I was, I have made peace with myself. I realised that people treated me the way I allowed them to. How could I expect respect from others when I had none for myself? It has been a slow process, but I finally believe I am worthy of love, that I am beautiful in my way, and that my body is something to be thankful for and look after, instead of loathing and punishing it.

My final reason is adopting an attitude of gratitude. I am thankful for every day that I get to experience. I look at my home, the people I love, and the possessions I have, and realise how much I have been blessed. I wished away much of my life by yearning for things I didn’t have, being envious of other people’s successes and accomplishments, or wanting to be someone else.

I was always jealous of my sister. She was younger, prettier, skinnier and loved more than me. She married her first love in the month and year that I had planned to have my own wedding. But my engagement didn’t last long enough. She had children and a lovely home long before I did, and she is still married, whereas I have a string of failed relationships behind me. I thought she had the perfect life.

It wasn’t until we both got tipsy at my dad’s wedding that I discovered something rather amazing. She was jealous of me.

I had a career as a nurse, while she had left school and only had jobs like working in a shop. I had seen much more of the world, having gone on holidays abroad, and spent six months in India as a volunteer. I had freedom to do what I pleased, whereas she was tied to a home and children.

Since that time, I have learnt to be thankful for what I have instead of wishing for what I don’t have. To be content with what life gives me instead of vainly seeking happiness somewhere else. It also means that I am not beset with the anxiety and depression that used to dog me. Anxiety and gratitude cannot exist together.

So, despite the physical challenges of growing old, I will happily embrace it, because life is for living and I intend to live what I have left to the full.